Saturday, December 20, 2008

Second Chance

It was the night of my first big surgery and I was in the operating room at 9pm. The surgery was an hour and a half behind schedule. The sights of the huge surgical lights, the operating table and equipments; the neurosurgeon and his staff in their deep green gowns (to conceal the color of blood stains); the thought of being shaven bald while under anesthetic; going under the knife and drilling four holes on my skull are all nothing but like scenes in a slaughter house. It’s not my idea of fun and would have send chills down anyone’s spine. What would be on your thoughts if you were me? It was cold that night. Very cold! And I’m only wearing the hospital gown and a flannel blanket on top. But I was so calm and all smiles as the anesthesiologist talked to me for a while asking how I was doing while preparing me for the 3.5-hour ordeal. In the back of my mind, it is just another surgery. I know I am not alone. I’ve been through this three times before and I'm surely going to make it. The first one was, when I was as young as 8, for an appendectomy, then another major in 1996; and a right elbow injury a couple years back. Is there such a thing as being a pro when going under the knife? I wouldn’t like to think so.

My elder brother left his family behind, took (emergency) week off from work and flew in from Manila the day before, was waiting just outside the OR accompanying my 2 other good friends, Maggie and Paul. At about half past midnight, I regained consciousness. “Breathe! Breathe deeply! Inhale!” the Neurosurgeon said. I heard murmuring and sounds of metal equipments clanking on metal trays. I can feel the top of my head throbbing like it would explode as the effects of anesthetics lessen. As they wheeled me out of the OR on the way to ICU my eyes were still closed. A lady was jumping and screaming, “He’s alive, he’s alive!” And I heard my brother said, “Maggie and Paul are here waiting all night.” As I opened my eyes slowly, I uttered in my scruffy voice, “Wh…who’s Maggie? Who’s Paul?” Suddenly there was complete silence! For nearly half-a-minute all I got were stares from people surrounding me. The Neurosurgeon look puzzled. Then I smiled and said, “I was just kidding!” He gasped and exclaimed, “Oh he’s making a joke. That’s a very good sign.”

My first real taste of excruciating pain did not sink in until that night. But I don’t have to succumb to it. I believe that you must be able to take your pain and play with it in order for you to turn such situations around. Veteran comedian, Bill Cosby of the 'Cosby Show' was quoted as saying, “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.” This holds true to those who survive such situations by turning them around and looking at the brighter side of life instead. For me, I prefer to laugh at myself and my own mistakes as I learn from it.

The second surgery the following night was even more agonizing than the first. I was awake all night just like the first, savoring every single minute in pain. In these moments, I experienced nearly my entire life flashed before my eyes. I was immobilized from the shoulder up as my head was too heavy and felt lifeless. My neck wound was too sharp and I was laying heavily on it. 4 days later, I had third surgery to remove my gallbladder which was highly inflamed and toxic. A few days had passed and one of my dear friends asked me during one of his visits, “So do you still believe in God after all these things that have happened to you?” In fact, it made me just draw nearer! The bad things that happen to us are perhaps allowed by God as a wake up call. From what? From abusing ourselves, excessive madness, being stubborn, or perhaps just to teach us an unforgettable lesson?

When David took census of Israel and Judah, he did it for pride and ambition in counting the people so that he could glory in the size of his army rather than putting his faith in God’s ability to protect them. This has angered God. For his punishment, God gave David 3 choices: 3 years of famine; 3 months of fleeing from your enemies; or 3 days of severe plague throughout the land. David chose the latter. So God sent a plague to Israel which lasted for 3 days where 70,000 people died. But as the death angel was preparing to destroy Jerusalem, God relented and told the angel to “Stop! That is enough!” (2 Samuel 24:16). David chose his punishment wisely. He knew how brutal his enemies were if he were to fall in their hands, and also knew God’s great mercy. To be punished by God is far better than to take chances without Him.

Every day people make mistakes, commit offenses or just simply become victims and you get to hear about it on the news. There are those who pay huge price for their wrong deeds while others are either punished harshly or disciplined. But what about those who are pardoned and become repeat offenders? Are there such valid excuses? Our God is a loving God He gives us another chance and sometimes, even choices to begin new life and become better persons. When you confess your sins to Him it is forgiven and thrown into the deepest seas. But sometimes we abuse the chances and often the consequences are devastating. Bad things are mostly the fruit of our disobedience. There are those who question God and turn their backs on Him. Others draw nearer! And there are those who chose to wait for their punishment before they learn their lessons. But because of God's unfailing love He gave me back my life, my strength and health to honor and glorify Him. I live to tell the wonders of His miracles and learn to accept whatever He sends my way and just simply put my trust in Him. This alone gives me good enough reason to live my second chance. One day after my third surgery that week, I stood up and was later discharged from the hospital.

Bible passage to read: 2 Samuel 24:1-25

“LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU
AND 90% HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT.”

Few weeks had past my friends and I finally decided to put the pain behind for a moment and enjoy a bit more of fun doing a little “Break Dancing”. And so we did as you can see from the following clip. (See below post).

Break Dancin'

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