Would you believe men don’t cry? What is your impression of a man who does? There must be many reasons why a person would cry but can you think of a reason why a man should not? Crying is defined as any expression of distress, or grief, accompanied with tears or sobs; a loud sound uttered in lamentation.
Nearly sixteen years had past, I recall when one of my elder brothers used to beat me up almost everyday for no known apparent reason. Physically, I was no match to him. He was big and I was not. I’ve made a decision to go home very late at nights when most of them were asleep since I used to share the room with him during those days. But the unpleasant things used to occur in the early mornings. When I woke up he will strangle me, kick me and verbally abuse me. This went on for about a month without the knowledge of my parents. That was the time when I felt completely lost, restless and confused. I turned to my friends but not a single individual could give me answers to the questions I was longing for. “What have I done to deserve this?” “Why am I being treated this way?” “Should I fight back?” But I never did, nor even questioned him on his cruel behavior. Until the time came I was so anxious to go back home and had planned to run away. One night, just about a couple of weeks before we moved house, both my parents finally noticed the gap between my brother and me. They waited until I came home. We had a family devotion and talked about it that night. Several months had passed but I felt unhappy still thinking it wasn’t fair. I bid farewell to my parents and moved out to live on my own. It was then I made a vow I would revenge! But how? I was a skinny young man and the best place to build me up was the gym and so I did spent hours after work in the gym just to get what I wanted.
If an ambulance siren is the signature of an injury that needs immediate attention, what would be the signature for the silent injuries that do not get anyone’s attention? It seems that every day people get hurt and everyone has to hear about it when they are rushed in an ambulance. What about those injuries that don’t get a siren? How long would the injured remain wounded and a victim? Do we have a choice? Of course, in life we can decide whether or not to leave fear behind and move on, or remain a victim. I chose the first option and decided to move on. Days, months and even years had passed and vengeance remained in my mind. Somehow, the fun seems to have faded away as I lost my sense of direction. I ended up going to the wrong places and hanging out with the wrong people. Yet, there were no answers to my questions, “Why God, why?” “What are You trying to tell me?” If only my hands are long enough to reach heaven I could have boxed with God! The Bible has bountiful answers to any kind of injuries that we sustain in life. And it is the signature cure for anyone who needs guidance and direction.
So I turned to David, who became king of Israel and one of the prominent figures in the Bible, and studied about his character during his hard times and learned many things:
1. David became a threat to Saul’s kingship at a young age (1 Samuel 18). When King Saul started to hunt down David, the young man fled to be out of King Saul’s sight.
2. David was at peace – with God. Instead of retaliation (1 Samuel 24 & 26), he wrote Psalm 18. David sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. (2 Samuel 22)
3. David was prayerful – Psalm 13 & 17
4. David kept on praising God – Psalm 19
5. David put his trust in God – Psalm 25
6. David forgives his enemies and found joy - Psalm 32
7. David poured his heart out - Psalm 40
And now I turned to the pages of my days and found I was no match to him:
1. David has a pure heart. Mine was not.
2. David was peaceful. I was bitter and sought revenge.
3. David cried his heart out to God. I was questioning Him.
4. David wrote his Psalm. I did not even have one.
5. David went to the right direction. I took the wrong path and lost my sense of direction.
6. David was mature at a young age. I still need to grow up!
So I fell flat on my face and learned the hard way. However hard it was for me, I got up through the ‘Word of God’ and I look at those injuries as nothing but hurdle because they made me what I am today. Then I learned that the “why” questions may not really have definite answers. But it gave me hope to an extent that made my pains an easier pill to swallow because they were used to display God’s work. There are times when God’s work is manifested through dramatic miracles. Some of you may even ask how is that possible? But such pains and hurdles do magnify the presence of God. You see, when we are all so busy, content, and all happy we tend to forget about God. But our pains and injuries offer opportunities for us to display His works. As for my resentful plans to my brother, it all faded out gradually over the years as I learn, understand and forgive him. After all, big men do cry.
Bible passage to read: Psalm 17
Nearly sixteen years had past, I recall when one of my elder brothers used to beat me up almost everyday for no known apparent reason. Physically, I was no match to him. He was big and I was not. I’ve made a decision to go home very late at nights when most of them were asleep since I used to share the room with him during those days. But the unpleasant things used to occur in the early mornings. When I woke up he will strangle me, kick me and verbally abuse me. This went on for about a month without the knowledge of my parents. That was the time when I felt completely lost, restless and confused. I turned to my friends but not a single individual could give me answers to the questions I was longing for. “What have I done to deserve this?” “Why am I being treated this way?” “Should I fight back?” But I never did, nor even questioned him on his cruel behavior. Until the time came I was so anxious to go back home and had planned to run away. One night, just about a couple of weeks before we moved house, both my parents finally noticed the gap between my brother and me. They waited until I came home. We had a family devotion and talked about it that night. Several months had passed but I felt unhappy still thinking it wasn’t fair. I bid farewell to my parents and moved out to live on my own. It was then I made a vow I would revenge! But how? I was a skinny young man and the best place to build me up was the gym and so I did spent hours after work in the gym just to get what I wanted.
If an ambulance siren is the signature of an injury that needs immediate attention, what would be the signature for the silent injuries that do not get anyone’s attention? It seems that every day people get hurt and everyone has to hear about it when they are rushed in an ambulance. What about those injuries that don’t get a siren? How long would the injured remain wounded and a victim? Do we have a choice? Of course, in life we can decide whether or not to leave fear behind and move on, or remain a victim. I chose the first option and decided to move on. Days, months and even years had passed and vengeance remained in my mind. Somehow, the fun seems to have faded away as I lost my sense of direction. I ended up going to the wrong places and hanging out with the wrong people. Yet, there were no answers to my questions, “Why God, why?” “What are You trying to tell me?” If only my hands are long enough to reach heaven I could have boxed with God! The Bible has bountiful answers to any kind of injuries that we sustain in life. And it is the signature cure for anyone who needs guidance and direction.
So I turned to David, who became king of Israel and one of the prominent figures in the Bible, and studied about his character during his hard times and learned many things:
1. David became a threat to Saul’s kingship at a young age (1 Samuel 18). When King Saul started to hunt down David, the young man fled to be out of King Saul’s sight.
2. David was at peace – with God. Instead of retaliation (1 Samuel 24 & 26), he wrote Psalm 18. David sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. (2 Samuel 22)
3. David was prayerful – Psalm 13 & 17
4. David kept on praising God – Psalm 19
5. David put his trust in God – Psalm 25
6. David forgives his enemies and found joy - Psalm 32
7. David poured his heart out - Psalm 40
And now I turned to the pages of my days and found I was no match to him:
1. David has a pure heart. Mine was not.
2. David was peaceful. I was bitter and sought revenge.
3. David cried his heart out to God. I was questioning Him.
4. David wrote his Psalm. I did not even have one.
5. David went to the right direction. I took the wrong path and lost my sense of direction.
6. David was mature at a young age. I still need to grow up!
So I fell flat on my face and learned the hard way. However hard it was for me, I got up through the ‘Word of God’ and I look at those injuries as nothing but hurdle because they made me what I am today. Then I learned that the “why” questions may not really have definite answers. But it gave me hope to an extent that made my pains an easier pill to swallow because they were used to display God’s work. There are times when God’s work is manifested through dramatic miracles. Some of you may even ask how is that possible? But such pains and hurdles do magnify the presence of God. You see, when we are all so busy, content, and all happy we tend to forget about God. But our pains and injuries offer opportunities for us to display His works. As for my resentful plans to my brother, it all faded out gradually over the years as I learn, understand and forgive him. After all, big men do cry.
Bible passage to read: Psalm 17
“I’M GLAD GOD HAS ALL THE ANSWERS,
BECAUSE I BARELY UNDERSTAND THE QUESTIONS”
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Hi Blogger,
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough life you had and what a good testimony out of this.
I do think men can cry to reveal their true expression under proper circumstances. But of course they shall not cry like those mad little women out of nothing. On the other hand, I don't think men shall hide their feeling too much. Even the famous Taiwan director Li An did cry when he got the award.
One thing is for sure, those men can cry are braver and have guts(as they dare to cry); also they do live longer than their counter-parts since they can let out their emotion by crying. But of couse only do it once in a while but not everyday man.
Life is tough out there! And experiences like this teaches us how to face reality, make us prepared and later on become survivors. It also becomes a measure of our success in later journey in life.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Men who shows a bit more emotion are far healthier and braver than those who withold theirs. Men are often typecast as the tough ones but we also have our soft sides. However, we only reveal it at certain times especially when our cup overflows.